








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 401 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 233 matches | ||
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3590 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,456 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2020 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1737 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2295 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 404 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,301,395 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 580 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OranG | 77% | 22 |
| #2 | KRuuuDY | 58% | 24 |
| #3 | sTEVOsAUR™ | 55% | 29 |
| #4 | gaul | 54% | 70 |
| #5 | dis is y im hot u aint cuz u not | 53% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swave | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | chris | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Memegineer | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Candyman | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | carpenter | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D-bo | 344 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #2 | Swave | 261 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #3 | Memegineer | 249 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | Candyman | 148 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | gaul | 135 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blaze | +2.53 | 77 | 48 |
| #2 | gaul | +2.10 | 82 | 61 |
| #3 | draWsouL | +1.97 | 72 | 55 |
| #4 | Swave | +1.64 | 89 | 55 |
| #5 | sTEVOsAUR™ | +1.57 | 75 | 68 |





