








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 218 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 227 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3138 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,360 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1405 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1139 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1548 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1268 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,241,375 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Findus | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | kirito-san | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | JaKe✤ | 58% | 67 |
| #4 | Tommy | 51% | 87 |
| #5 | Tralalero Tralala | 46% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | SlixVacson | 41% | 81 |
| #8 | El Philli | 40% | 30 |
| #9 | .path | 39% | 28 |
| #10 | Köftepeek 2.0 | 39% | 59 |
| #11 | Walter White | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SlixVacson | 13 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | Synaps | 9 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Köftepeek 2.0 | 5 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Tommy | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Findus | 4 | 0.0116 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JaKe✤ | 197 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | Synaps | 185 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Tommy | 167 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Köftepeek 2.0 | 146 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | SlixVacson | 136 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tralalero Tralala | +1.70 | 71 | 64 |
| #2 | Tommy | +0.93 | 68 | 61 |
| #3 | siu | +0.88 | 78 | 47 |
| #4 | kirito-san | +0.48 | 78 | 63 |
| #5 | JaKe✤ | +0.39 | 78 | 73 |





