








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 292 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 265 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3198 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,147 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4173 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3488 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3011 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3475 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $787,572 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tralalero Tralala | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | SlixVacson | 64% | 45 |
| #3 | siu | 58% | 67 |
| #4 | Tommy | 58% | 105 |
| #5 | SUUIII | 56% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Tommy | 58% | 105 |
| #5 | SUUIII | 56% | 18 |
| #6 | Synaps | 55% | 49 |
| #7 | .path | 55% | 44 |
| #8 | pNK | 49% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | siu | 6 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | SlixVacson | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Tommy | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Synaps | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | pNK | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tommy | 204 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | Synaps | 104 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | pNK | 96 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | SlixVacson | 82 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | siu | 78 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tralalero Tralala | +1.99 | 74 | 63 |
| #2 | JaKe✤ | +0.80 | 77 | 74 |
| #3 | Tommy | +0.77 | 73 | 63 |
| #4 | siu | +0.76 | 80 | 48 |
| #5 | pNK | +0.51 | 70 | 66 |





