








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 213 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 367 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4334 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,842 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3095 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1857 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 2894 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2996 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,146,996 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 60 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Synaps | 43% | 70 |
| #11 | siu | 39% | 59 |
| #12 | Tommy | 39% | 126 |
| #13 | .path | 36% | 25 |
| #14 | .Regy | 34% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SlixVacson | 28 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | pueb1o LANLVL10 | 15 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | Synaps | 10 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | SUUIII | 9 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | Tommy | 8 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SlixVacson | 350 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #2 | Tommy | 246 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | Walter White | 210 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | Tralalero Tralala | 177 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | Synaps | 146 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pueb1o LANLVL10 | +2.61 | 84 | 43 |
| #2 | Tralalero Tralala | +2.17 | 77 | 62 |
| #3 | SUUIII | +1.52 | 80 | 37 |
| #4 | Tommy | +1.36 | 70 | 60 |
| #5 | don one deag padre mapcleaner | +1.33 | 74 | 53 |





