








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 797 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 571 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7021 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,875 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4878 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3502 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 5203 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4292 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,664,727 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 66 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JaKe✤ | 64% | 45 |
| #2 | pueb1o LANLVL10 | 58% | 104 |
| #3 | .Regy | 55% | 33 |
| #4 | El Philli | 51% | 127 |
| #5 | SUUIII | 50% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Synaps | 47% | 77 |
| #10 | Köftepeek 2.0 | 46% | 181 |
| #11 | Walter White | 46% | 143 |
| #12 | don one deag padre mapcleaner | 44% | 80 |
| #13 | siu | 41% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tommy | 16 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Köftepeek 2.0 | 16 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | pueb1o LANLVL10 | 11 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | don one deag padre mapcleaner | 11 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | Walter White | 10 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Köftepeek 2.0 | 466 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #2 | Tommy | 460 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #3 | Walter White | 306 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | Tralalero Tralala | 295 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | El Philli | 213 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pueb1o LANLVL10 | +2.74 | 83 | 49 |
| #2 | Tralalero Tralala | +2.25 | 74 | 61 |
| #3 | SUUIII | +1.95 | 76 | 43 |
| #4 | don one deag padre mapcleaner | +1.61 | 73 | 50 |
| #5 | Tommy | +1.37 | 72 | 60 |





