








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 429 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 500 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4570 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,449 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4421 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5423 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 4174 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1431 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,353,707 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JaKe✤ | 58% | 105 |
| #2 | pNK | 51% | 37 |
| #3 | siu | 51% | 87 |
| #4 | .path | 50% | 122 |
| #5 | Synaps | 49% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | SUUIII | 47% | 100 |
| #8 | pueb1o LANLVL10 | 45% | 33 |
| #9 | Köftepeek 2.0 | 39% | 126 |
| #10 | Walter White | 38% | 47 |
| #11 | El Philli | 33% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SlixVacson | 24 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Synaps | 14 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | SUUIII | 8 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | pueb1o LANLVL10 | 5 | 0.0072 |
| #5 | Köftepeek 2.0 | 4 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SlixVacson | 440 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #2 | Köftepeek 2.0 | 301 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | JaKe✤ | 288 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #4 | Synaps | 240 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | siu | 126 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pueb1o LANLVL10 | +1.58 | 78 | 44 |
| #2 | SUUIII | +1.47 | 77 | 39 |
| #3 | Tommy | +1.15 | 72 | 61 |
| #4 | JaKe✤ | +0.77 | 79 | 74 |
| #5 | siu | +0.58 | 77 | 49 |





