








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 341 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 269 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2787 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,489 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2482 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2941 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 2283 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 783 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,337,942 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JaKe✤ | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | Köftepeek 2.0 | 56% | 95 |
| #3 | .path | 55% | 22 |
| #4 | pueb1o LANLVL10 | 52% | 61 |
| #5 | Synaps | 51% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SlixVacson | 18 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | Köftepeek 2.0 | 10 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | pueb1o LANLVL10 | 6 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | Synaps | 6 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | SUUIII | 4 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Köftepeek 2.0 | 264 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | SlixVacson | 247 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | El Philli | 146 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Synaps | 110 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | pueb1o LANLVL10 | 87 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JaKe✤ | +2.92 | 77 | 72 |
| #2 | Tralalero Tralala | +1.99 | 74 | 62 |
| #3 | pueb1o LANLVL10 | +1.76 | 79 | 47 |
| #4 | siu | +0.82 | 71 | 47 |
| #5 | SUUIII | +0.73 | 75 | 47 |





