








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 949 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 149 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




187 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7182 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,942 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4486 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4832 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5458 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 5166 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $799,083 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 657 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Senpaii | 72% | 47 |
| #2 | espresso martini | 64% | 39 |
| #3 | mike481 | 61% | 230 |
| #4 | sup3rant | 60% | 112 |
| #5 | KNAVE | 59% | 146 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tenski | 79 | 0.0475 |
| #2 | mike481 | 54 | 0.0116 |
| #3 | sup3rant | 32 | 0.0141 |
| #4 | KNAVE | 20 | 0.0071 |
| #5 | espresso martini | 20 | 0.0262 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mike481 | 1101 | 0.24 | 27 min |
| #2 | tenski | 444 | 0.27 | 13 min |
| #3 | sup3rant | 348 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #4 | JODII | 233 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | OlmO | 185 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sup3rant | +3.55 | 87 | 66 |
| #2 | KNAVE | +3.41 | 80 | 59 |
| #3 | tenski | +2.54 | 69 | 72 |
| #4 | yonji | +2.10 | 78 | 60 |
| #5 | mike481 | +1.56 | 88 | 61 |





