








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 64 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1132 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,965 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 376 | 19% |
| Smokes | 834 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 273 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 482 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $31,352 of utility $11 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K3ibl3r3lf | 56% | 45 |
| #2 | E@MyShorts2333 | 52% | 95 |
| #3 | Apps0 | 50% | 12 |
| #4 | Ultipenguin | 50% | 130 |
| #5 | Grimace | 49% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | DAVE 3 | 46% | 26 |
| #8 | SpaceHelicopter | 43% | 21 |
| #9 | Sledge | 43% | 35 |
| #10 | KayDay019 | 40% | 10 |
| #11 | Plimbus | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ultipenguin | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Tutim | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | E@MyShorts2333 | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | K3ibl3r3lf | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Grimace | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tutim | 185 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | Ultipenguin | 164 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | E@MyShorts2333 | 147 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | K3ibl3r3lf | 89 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Grimace | 62 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grimace | +2.92 | 59 | 51 |
| #2 | Ultipenguin | +0.69 | 54 | 41 |
| #3 | Apollo | +0.49 | 37 | 36 |
| #4 | Tutim | +0.47 | 56 | 54 |
| #5 | SpaceHelicopter | -0.28 | 48 | 56 |





