








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 52 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1966 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,291 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1289 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1713 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1582 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1707 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,097,524 of utility $237 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rasaqboi | 68% | 22 |
| #2 | ELUDEBEAR | 53% | 45 |
| #3 | MikEPeazy | 50% | 26 |
| #4 | Nautlu$ | 50% | 62 |
| #5 | heat | 47% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | heat | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | getxclean |HB| | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | HvyArms | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Fighta | 2 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | MJW | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HvyArms | 291 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | getxclean |HB| | 211 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | Nautlu$ | 189 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | MJW | 178 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | heat | 160 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sRob | +2.93 | 90 | 59 |
| #2 | MikEPeazy | +2.30 | 72 | 77 |
| #3 | heat | +1.81 | 74 | 58 |
| #4 | ignit3r | +1.76 | 77 | 71 |
| #5 | Rasaqboi | +1.55 | 71 | 67 |





