








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 456 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 405 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5474 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,365 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3597 | 19% |
| Smokes | 5842 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4633 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5293 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,953,910 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ELUDEBEAR | 52% | 121 |
| #2 | heat | 50% | 259 |
| #3 | HvyArms | 49% | 226 |
| #4 | Stoosh | 48% | 109 |
| #5 | Nautlu$ | 47% | 262 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Fighta | 42% | 85 |
| #12 | getxclean |HB| | 41% | 228 |
| #13 | maL^_^Ave | 39% | 71 |
| #14 | shu | 36% | 36 |
| #15 | nuunee | 36% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | heat | 13 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | HvyArms | 11 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Stoosh | 8 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Nautlu$ | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Fighta | 6 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nautlu$ | 712 | 0.13 | 19 min |
| #2 | HvyArms | 689 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #3 | getxclean |HB| | 609 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #4 | heat | 491 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #5 | ignit3r | 336 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sRob | +2.93 | 91 | 61 |
| #2 | hsN | +1.48 | 74 | 70 |
| #3 | heat | +1.36 | 73 | 59 |
| #4 | MJW | +1.17 | 63 | 67 |
| #5 | ignit3r | +1.06 | 79 | 74 |





