








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 763 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 358 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4990 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,466 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4341 | 21% |
| Smokes | 5514 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5518 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 5093 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,600,640 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 209 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ELUDEBEAR | 60% | 86 |
| #2 | dracxz | 59% | 91 |
| #3 | SwagZ | 59% | 56 |
| #4 | MikEPeazy | 59% | 126 |
| #5 | Stoosh | 57% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | owNz | 50% | 42 |
| #11 | MJW | 49% | 226 |
| #12 | ignit3r | 49% | 96 |
| #13 | TassoN` | 45% | 97 |
| #14 | getxclean |HB| | 45% | 171 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | heat | 9 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | MikEPeazy | 8 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | dracxz | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Nautlu$ | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Stoosh | 5 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MikEPeazy | 878 | 0.34 | 21 min |
| #2 | getxclean |HB| | 474 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #3 | Nautlu$ | 414 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #4 | heat | 411 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #5 | MJW | 380 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MikEPeazy | +2.11 | 65 | 70 |
| #2 | heat | +2.02 | 75 | 59 |
| #3 | ELUDEBEAR | +1.50 | 70 | 74 |
| #4 | HvyArms | +0.83 | 73 | 62 |
| #5 | ignit3r | +0.81 | 75 | 74 |





