








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 330 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 532 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4183 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,068 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5860 | 25% |
| Smokes | 7585 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 5059 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4564 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,914,731 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 172 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rasaqboi | 52% | 42 |
| #2 | nuunee | 46% | 100 |
| #3 | HvyArms | 45% | 171 |
| #4 | heat | 44% | 344 |
| #5 | Nautlu$ | 44% | 223 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | MJW | 41% | 228 |
| #10 | TassoN` | 41% | 79 |
| #11 | ELUDEBEAR | 39% | 59 |
| #12 | jms | 39% | 49 |
| #13 | ignit3r | 37% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | heat | 12 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | HvyArms | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Nautlu$ | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | ignit3r | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Stoosh | 4 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | heat | 639 | 0.09 | 17 min |
| #2 | Nautlu$ | 611 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #3 | HvyArms | 561 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #4 | MJW | 376 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #5 | maL^_^Ave | 246 | 0.13 | 6 min |





