








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 390 matches | ||
| Faceit | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4164 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,594 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4623 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5794 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6029 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4148 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $959,079 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OftedaL | 53% | 51 |
| #2 | Adoon | 50% | 42 |
| #3 | munky[G] | 49% | 81 |
| #4 | Heimis | 49% | 49 |
| #5 | hellz0r- | 49% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kjendiss! | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Lokelars | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Ruby Rose | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | stianhay9 | 4 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | Therese91♥ッ | 3 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ruby Rose | 304 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #2 | hellz0r- | 282 | 0.30 | 8 min |
| #3 | Kjendiss! | 243 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | Lokelars | 189 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | Knekkern | 183 | 0.25 | 5 min |





