








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 482 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 210 matches | ||
| Esplay | 98 matches | 1,688 | |
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 98 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3409 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,326 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3124 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3012 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3505 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2685 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,530,560 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 180 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xlb | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | SolenYa | 58% | 31 |
| #3 | AZZA | 56% | 32 |
| #4 | munky[G] | 56% | 25 |
| #5 | Ruby Rose | 55% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #20 | Therese91♥ッ | 35% | 88 |
| #21 | hens0 | 33% | 21 |
| #22 | goodie | 33% | 30 |
| #23 | Coltbord | 31% | 26 |
| #24 | ʇıǝuɐW | 25% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mantipanti | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Lokelars | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Therese91♥ッ | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Heimis | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | AZZA | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mantipanti | 228 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | Heimis | 181 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | Adoon | 143 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | (ɔıʇsɐqɯoᙠ)ɐɐɐɐɐɹO | 142 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | MedicTrio | 141 | 0.14 | 3 min |





