








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2078 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,900 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1662 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1025 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1779 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1434 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $471,251 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | stianhay9 | 38% | 26 |
| #15 | hellz0r- | 31% | 16 |
| #16 | brew | 27% | 11 |
| #17 | Ruby Rose | 27% | 11 |
| #18 | Bjarnis | 21% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gud dug | 7 | 0.0310 |
| #2 | Mantipanti | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | stianhay9 | 3 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | (ɔıʇsɐqɯoᙠ)ɐɐɐɐɐɹO | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Kjendiss! | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (ɔıʇsɐqɯoᙠ)ɐɐɐɐɐɹO | 134 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #2 | Mantipanti | 117 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | hellz0r- | 116 | 0.31 | 2 min |
| #4 | Kjendiss! | 97 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | stianhay9 | 88 | 0.15 | 2 min |





