








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 357 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 216 matches | ||
| Faceit | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 105 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6491 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,388 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6267 | 25% |
| Smokes | 7738 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 5674 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5709 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,568,594 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 178 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cypher64 | 59% | 88 |
| #2 | HunterCruzer | 57% | 106 |
| #3 | Flap | 54% | 84 |
| #4 | ZuLaN | 52% | 165 |
| #5 | Xanman | 51% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | i dunno man you do you | 49% | 146 |
| #12 | Panda!? | 47% | 211 |
| #13 | hogan | 45% | 38 |
| #14 | Slappy | 43% | 96 |
| #15 | cancel | 33% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZuLaN | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | chase | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | i dunno man you do you | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | mosh | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Panda!? | 3 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZuLaN | 655 | 0.19 | 19 min |
| #2 | i dunno man you do you | 638 | 0.22 | 14 min |
| #3 | Panda!? | 632 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #4 | HunterCruzer | 550 | 0.25 | 12 min |
| #5 | Cypher64 | 368 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kohnert | +1.46 | 75 | 68 |
| #2 | Xanman | +1.29 | 84 | 29 |
| #3 | HunterCruzer | +1.16 | 82 | 66 |
| #4 | mosh | +0.98 | 68 | 62 |
| #5 | ZuLaN | +0.88 | 59 | 75 |





