








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 357 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6568 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,131 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9296 | 46% |
| Smokes | 5485 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3978 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1372 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $310,009 of utility $22 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1140 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xanman | 57% | 112 |
| #2 | JUICY JARED | 56% | 39 |
| #3 | in range | 56% | 55 |
| #4 | chase | 52% | 114 |
| #5 | drachen | 51% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | mosh | 48% | 330 |
| #10 | leehuffman | 47% | 265 |
| #11 | head-to-toe bootleg gucci | 46% | 166 |
| #12 | nux | 41% | 54 |
| #13 | Slappy | 38% | 302 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mosh | 14 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | adam | 12 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | leehuffman | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Xanman | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Slappy | 6 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | adam | 746 | 0.09 | 22 min |
| #2 | mosh | 604 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #3 | Kohnert | 547 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #4 | leehuffman | 516 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #5 | head-to-toe bootleg gucci | 386 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kohnert | +2.91 | 75 | 68 |
| #2 | mosh | +1.64 | 72 | 60 |
| #3 | adam | +1.31 | 50 | 70 |
| #4 | chase | +1.30 | 75 | 79 |
| #5 | Xanman | +1.08 | 89 | 26 |





