








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 438 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 87 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6488 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,508 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6067 | 30% |
| Smokes | 6449 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4486 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3506 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,416,099 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 219 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | leehuffman | 48% | 275 |
| #11 | chase | 48% | 96 |
| #12 | JUICY JARED | 47% | 57 |
| #13 | Slappy | 47% | 299 |
| #14 | nux | 42% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i dunno man you do you | 17 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | mosh | 14 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | leehuffman | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Xanman | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Slappy | 6 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i dunno man you do you | 1792 | 0.22 | 42 min |
| #2 | mosh | 690 | 0.09 | 17 min |
| #3 | leehuffman | 588 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #4 | Kohnert | 498 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| #5 | head-to-toe bootleg gucci | 434 | 0.11 | 12 min |





