








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1099 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 482 matches | ||
| Premier | 376 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 122 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7188 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 41,759 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13564 | 32% |
| Smokes | 13101 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 7093 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 8001 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,188,767 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 109 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cypher64 | 54% | 208 |
| #2 | HunterCruzer | 53% | 414 |
| #3 | Kohnert | 52% | 165 |
| #4 | Flap | 52% | 631 |
| #5 | 𝘾𝙖𝙩 | 52% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Flap | 52% | 631 |
| #5 | 𝘾𝙖𝙩 | 52% | 118 |
| #6 | DanWhoElse | 50% | 310 |
| #7 | Panda!? | 50% | 761 |
| #8 | cancel | 49% | 208 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HunterCruzer | 11 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Flap | 10 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Panda!? | 6 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | DanWhoElse | 5 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Cypher64 | 5 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Panda!? | 2130 | 0.13 | 52 min |
| #2 | DanWhoElse | 2009 | 0.29 | 57 min |
| #3 | HunterCruzer | 1996 | 0.23 | 43 min |
| #4 | Flap | 1759 | 0.13 | 52 min |
| #5 | 𝘾𝙖𝙩 | 738 | 0.29 | 23 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝘾𝙖𝙩 | +1.43 | 74 | 75 |
| #2 | DanWhoElse | +1.14 | 76 | 79 |
| #3 | Flap | +0.64 | 85 | 72 |
| #4 | HunterCruzer | +0.45 | 79 | 64 |
| #5 | ZuLaN | +0.40 | 59 | 71 |





