








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 286 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7113 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,825 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5224 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4818 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 7152 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 3631 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $537,772 of utility $43 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 699 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BIG CHUNGUS | 52% | 73 |
| #2 | leehuffman | 52% | 208 |
| #3 | Kohnert | 51% | 135 |
| #4 | head-to-toe bootleg gucci | 51% | 240 |
| #5 | adam | 49% | 375 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | chase | 47% | 85 |
| #10 | Slappy | 47% | 290 |
| #11 | JUICY JARED | 46% | 39 |
| #12 | in range | 46% | 37 |
| #13 | nux | 43% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i dunno man you do you | 16 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | adam | 13 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Kohnert | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | head-to-toe bootleg gucci | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Slappy | 5 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i dunno man you do you | 1510 | 0.22 | 36 min |
| #2 | adam | 776 | 0.10 | 22 min |
| #3 | head-to-toe bootleg gucci | 544 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #4 | Kohnert | 486 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #5 | leehuffman | 433 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kohnert | +2.74 | 77 | 70 |
| #2 | mosh | +1.85 | 72 | 60 |
| #3 | chase | +1.13 | 75 | 80 |
| #4 | BIG CHUNGUS | +1.03 | 68 | 62 |
| #5 | adam | +0.82 | 50 | 70 |





