








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 882 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 486 matches | ||
| Premier | 378 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 278 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9284 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 46,670 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11838 | 25% |
| Smokes | 14817 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 7140 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 12875 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,925,821 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 948 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝘾𝙖𝙩 | 53% | 132 |
| #2 | Cypher64 | 52% | 230 |
| #3 | HunterCruzer | 52% | 462 |
| #4 | Flap | 50% | 636 |
| #5 | ZuLaN | 50% | 761 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Flap | 50% | 636 |
| #5 | ZuLaN | 50% | 761 |
| #6 | DanWhoElse | 49% | 324 |
| #7 | cancel | 49% | 210 |
| #8 | Kohnert | 47% | 211 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZuLaN | 21 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | HunterCruzer | 12 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Flap | 11 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | DanWhoElse | 6 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Cypher64 | 5 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZuLaN | 3229 | 0.20 | 85 min |
| #2 | HunterCruzer | 2260 | 0.23 | 49 min |
| #3 | DanWhoElse | 2167 | 0.30 | 62 min |
| #4 | Flap | 1779 | 0.13 | 53 min |
| #5 | 𝘾𝙖𝙩 | 818 | 0.28 | 25 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝘾𝙖𝙩 | +1.66 | 74 | 74 |
| #2 | DanWhoElse | +1.02 | 76 | 80 |
| #3 | Flap | +0.65 | 85 | 72 |
| #4 | ZuLaN | +0.51 | 60 | 72 |
| #5 | HunterCruzer | +0.39 | 79 | 64 |





