










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 415 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 111 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1586 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,914 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1168 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1307 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1047 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1392 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $934,201 of utility $283 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DEWE | 84% | 25 |
| #2 | NaOaV2 | 82% | 22 |
| #3 | sKOO | 76% | 42 |
| #4 | M3T | 73% | 11 |
| #5 | Haddkeen | 70% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Raton Laveur | TeyKaa | 70% | 50 |
| #7 | Unitzz | 67% | 135 |
| #8 | ⚜︎ lip2502 ⚜ | 45% | 11 |
| #9 | @LT F4 | 43% | 23 |
| #10 | LaGoutte | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Unitzz | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | sKOO | 4 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | NaOaV2 | 4 | 0.0090 |
| #4 | Raton Laveur | TeyKaa | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Unitzz | 396 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | NaOaV2 | 67 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | LaGoutte | 62 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | ⚜︎ lip2502 ⚜ | 54 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| #5 | Raton Laveur | TeyKaa | 53 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NaOaV2 | +7.02 | 85 | 76 |
| #2 | Straff.Zeyu | +5.82 | 75 | 60 |
| #3 | M3T | +2.77 | 88 | 63 |
| #4 | Haddkeen | +1.80 | 48 | 59 |
| #5 | DEWE | -0.65 | 41 | 52 |





