










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 940 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 357 matches | ||
| Wingman | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2757 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,444 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 881 | 10% |
| Smokes | 3565 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 2500 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1498 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,748,926 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 365 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NaOaV2 | 73% | 44 |
| #2 | Straff.Zeyu | 70% | 50 |
| #3 | DEWE | 67% | 30 |
| #4 | Unitzz | 56% | 82 |
| #5 | sKOO | 54% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NaOaV2 | 73% | 44 |
| #2 | Straff.Zeyu | 70% | 50 |
| #3 | DEWE | 67% | 30 |
| #4 | Unitzz | 56% | 82 |
| #5 | sKOO | 54% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sKOO | 15 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | NaOaV2 | 8 | 0.0099 |
| #3 | Unitzz | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Straff.Zeyu | 3 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Unitzz | 253 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | sKOO | 156 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | NaOaV2 | 110 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Straff.Zeyu | 100 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | DEWE | 27 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NaOaV2 | +9.70 | 83 | 68 |
| #2 | Straff.Zeyu | +8.28 | 80 | 65 |
| #3 | DEWE | -0.08 | 36 | 56 |
| #4 | Unitzz | -0.27 | 37 | 52 |
| #5 | Raton Laveur | TeyKaa | -2.41 | 23 | 36 |





