








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 959 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 73 matches | ||
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1858 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,918 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1835 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1756 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1607 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1720 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $433,147 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 157 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Straff.Zeyu | 82% | 22 |
| #2 | Haddkeen | 80% | 10 |
| #3 | Unitzz | 77% | 31 |
| #4 | sKOO | 75% | 20 |
| #5 | Raton Laveur | TeyKaa | 73% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Raton Laveur | TeyKaa | 73% | 44 |
| #6 | Greffect | 56% | 16 |
| #7 | discord.gg/pjs | 55% | 33 |
| #8 | Marssaa | 50% | 36 |
| #9 | (-1 ELO) Lok1s | 40% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Raton Laveur | TeyKaa | 5 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | sKOO | 3 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | (-1 ELO) Lok1s | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (-1 ELO) Lok1s | 229 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #2 | discord.gg/pjs | 170 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #3 | Unitzz | 116 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | Marssaa | 68 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Greffect | 62 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Straff.Zeyu | +5.86 | 63 | 62 |
| #2 | NaOaV2 | +5.20 | 81 | 67 |
| #3 | Marssaa | +1.17 | 52 | 63 |
| #4 | Haddkeen | -0.58 | 42 | 55 |
| #5 | (-1 ELO) Lok1s | -0.61 | 84 | 47 |





