








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 702 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 155 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 94 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1656 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,736 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2289 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1726 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1443 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1278 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,218,043 of utility $250 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NaOaV2 | 77% | 31 |
| #2 | Haddkeen | 75% | 24 |
| #3 | Straff.Zeyu | 67% | 135 |
| #4 | sKOO | 63% | 57 |
| #5 | DEWE | 63% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Straff.Zeyu | 67% | 135 |
| #4 | sKOO | 63% | 57 |
| #5 | DEWE | 63% | 43 |
| #6 | Raton Laveur | TeyKaa | 56% | 82 |
| #7 | @LT F4 | 53% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Straff.Zeyu | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | sKOO | 5 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Raton Laveur | TeyKaa | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | NaOaV2 | 4 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | DEWE | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Straff.Zeyu | 303 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | NaOaV2 | 100 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | Raton Laveur | TeyKaa | 85 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | sKOO | 62 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Haddkeen | 50 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NaOaV2 | +7.10 | 87 | 72 |
| #2 | Straff.Zeyu | +6.41 | 74 | 60 |
| #3 | Haddkeen | +2.13 | 48 | 62 |
| #4 | @LT F4 | -0.00 | 28 | 65 |
| #5 | DEWE | -0.72 | 37 | 48 |





