








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 119 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 84 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1625 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,251 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3135 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3119 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3968 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3029 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $308,849 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1928 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Dogzilla | 57% | 68 |
| #10 | η♡να | 57% | 75 |
| #11 | BUNYON | 53% | 45 |
| #12 | Robby | 46% | 13 |
| #13 | Snacky1YT | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pill Pusher Pushin' P | 24 | 0.0235 |
| #2 | Dogzilla | 16 | 0.0114 |
| #3 | dubois.charles | 15 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | η♡να | 14 | 0.0093 |
| #5 | Snacky1YT | 12 | 0.0309 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dubois.charles | 682 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #2 | Pill Pusher Pushin' P | 216 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #3 | DisKineKteD | 214 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | BUNYON | 158 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | Mizzer | 157 | 0.08 | 3 min |





