








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 841 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 274 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 208 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




70 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4245 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,547 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2280 | 17% |
| Smokes | 4751 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 3335 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3181 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,707,379 of utility $263 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1938 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | η♡να | 58% | 52 |
| #2 | T3rpboy2.0 | 57% | 68 |
| #3 | Mizzer | 56% | 115 |
| #4 | Pill Pusher Pushin' P | 54% | 46 |
| #5 | T3rpboy | 54% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snacky1YT | 24 | 0.0211 |
| #2 | OMGScooter | 23 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | Pill Pusher Pushin' P | 16 | 0.0171 |
| #4 | T3rpboy2.0 | 11 | 0.0079 |
| #5 | P3Dr0 | 10 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dubois.charles | 611 | 0.19 | 16 min |
| #2 | BUNYON | 554 | 0.18 | 17 min |
| #3 | OMGScooter | 298 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #4 | Mizzer | 230 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | T3rpboy2.0 | 225 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pill Pusher Pushin' P | +2.58 | 74 | 66 |
| #2 | T3rpboy | +2.00 | 38 | 69 |
| #3 | Dogzilla | +1.06 | 73 | 58 |
| #4 | T3rpboy2.0 | +0.92 | 35 | 73 |
| #5 | dubois.charles | +0.87 | 56 | 70 |





