








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 69 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
937 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,147 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1129 | 36% |
| Smokes | 777 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 858 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 383 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $178,751 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 481 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Unpredicably | 67% | 33 |
| #2 | Raviolant | 65% | 23 |
| #3 | John H. | 65% | 63 |
| #4 | Rafale2FoutrePourLesPD | 64% | 14 |
| #5 | Raviolant | 63% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Raviolant | 65% | 23 |
| #3 | John H. | 65% | 63 |
| #4 | Rafale2FoutrePourLesPD | 64% | 14 |
| #5 | Raviolant | 63% | 8 |
| #6 | malaise ambulant | 61% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John H. | 11 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | malaise ambulant | 8 | 0.0086 |
| #3 | Unpredicably | 4 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | Raviolant | 3 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | Rafale2FoutrePourLesPD | 2 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John H. | 150 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | malaise ambulant | 55 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | Rafale2FoutrePourLesPD | 38 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | Unpredicably | 30 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Raviolant | 24 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Raviolant | +2.70 | 36 | 38 |
| #2 | fùckataturk | +1.83 | 79 | 65 |
| #3 | Raviolant | +0.82 | 56 | 38 |
| #4 | John H. | -0.29 | 41 | 56 |
| #5 | Unpredicably | -1.77 | 20 | 32 |





