








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 97 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
272 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 494 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 91 | 18% |
| Smokes | 217 | 44% |
| HE Grenades | 110 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 76 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $49,303 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 106 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Unpredicably | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | fùckataturk | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | malaise ambulant | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Unpredicably | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | fùckataturk | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | malaise ambulant | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | malaise ambulant | 5 | 0.0105 |
| #2 | fùckataturk | 2 | 0.0114 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fùckataturk | 42 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #2 | malaise ambulant | 36 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | Unpredicably | 8 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fùckataturk | +1.34 | 82 | 72 |
| #2 | Raviolant | -0.37 | 50 | 30 |
| #3 | Unpredicably | -1.08 | 26 | 43 |
| #4 | malaise ambulant | -3.68 | 20 | 39 |





