








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1742 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 208 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 136 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 37 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




197 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5041 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,734 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4132 | 20% |
| Smokes | 6392 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4767 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5443 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,153,297 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2461 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John H. | 76 | 0.0223 |
| #2 | ☆ Furick ☆ | 40 | 0.0463 |
| #3 | Unpredicably | 33 | 0.0083 |
| #4 | Raviolant | 28 | 0.0113 |
| #5 | fùckataturk | 13 | 0.0140 |





