








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1259 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 241 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




142 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3857 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,074 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2979 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4206 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 3321 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1568 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,509,822 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1573 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Jeremstar OFFICIEL | 59% | 34 |
| #7 | Professional child molestor | 56% | 41 |
| #8 | Raviolant | 56% | 36 |
| #9 | malaise ambulant | 53% | 181 |
| #10 | ☆ Furick ☆ | 52% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☆ Furick ☆ | 58 | 0.0479 |
| #2 | malaise ambulant | 52 | 0.0152 |
| #3 | fùckataturk | 27 | 0.0213 |
| #4 | Unpredicably | 22 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | Professional child molestor | 10 | 0.0129 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Unpredicably | 482 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #2 | malaise ambulant | 255 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | fùckataturk | 211 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | Professional child molestor | 116 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | ☆ Furick ☆ | 102 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeremstar OFFICIEL | +3.56 | 65 | 49 |
| #2 | Professional child molestor | +3.32 | 82 | 67 |
| #3 | SYRUS | +2.55 | 63 | 45 |
| #4 | fùckataturk | +2.42 | 79 | 65 |
| #5 | Raviolant | +2.38 | 46 | 35 |





