








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1107 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 355 matches | ||
| Faceit | 137 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 79 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6955 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,718 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10589 | 31% |
| Smokes | 8864 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 7715 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 7550 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,157,132 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 702 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | traderjoe | 13 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | ⓡⓤⓕⓕⓨ | 9 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Vrodon | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | ƮأϞ | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | DreamLive | 5 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vrodon | 1717 | 0.30 | 43 min |
| #2 | traderjoe | 1165 | 0.15 | 29 min |
| #3 | ⓡⓤⓕⓕⓨ | 711 | 0.13 | 18 min |
| #4 | ƮأϞ | 677 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #5 | DreamLive | 529 | 0.18 | 15 min |





