








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 68 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 396 matches | ||
| Wingman | 66 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5336 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,551 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4506 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4507 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 5787 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 6751 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,519,513 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 283 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tasiloooo | 54% | 89 |
| #2 | Vrodon | 51% | 136 |
| #3 | ⓡⓤⓕⓕⓨ | 50% | 154 |
| #4 | traderjoe | 49% | 179 |
| #5 | donotteam | 47% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Vrodon | 51% | 136 |
| #3 | ⓡⓤⓕⓕⓨ | 50% | 154 |
| #4 | traderjoe | 49% | 179 |
| #5 | donotteam | 47% | 87 |
| #6 | Tasilooo | 39% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vrodon | 10 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | traderjoe | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | ⓡⓤⓕⓕⓨ | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | donotteam | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Tasilooo | 3 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vrodon | 740 | 0.26 | 15 min |
| #2 | traderjoe | 519 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #3 | ⓡⓤⓕⓕⓨ | 435 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #4 | Tasilooo | 394 | 0.25 | 9 min |
| #5 | Tasiloooo | 353 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | traderjoe | +3.60 | 71 | 64 |
| #2 | Tasiloooo | +1.89 | 66 | 69 |
| #3 | donotteam | +1.64 | 50 | 63 |
| #4 | Tasilooo | +0.83 | 62 | 67 |
| #5 | ⓡⓤⓕⓕⓨ | +0.01 | 56 | 62 |





