








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 566 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 264 matches | ||
| Faceit | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2426 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,144 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7053 | 35% |
| Smokes | 7349 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 2481 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 3261 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,675,239 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 111 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⓡⓤⓕⓕⓨ | 52% | 256 |
| #2 | MarcDerBoi | 51% | 136 |
| #3 | Tasiloooo | 50% | 272 |
| #4 | traderjoe | 49% | 456 |
| #5 | ƮأϞ | 46% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | traderjoe | 49% | 456 |
| #5 | ƮأϞ | 46% | 114 |
| #6 | donotteam | 44% | 36 |
| #7 | DreamLive | 44% | 96 |
| #8 | Tasilooo | 36% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | traderjoe | 24 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Tasiloooo | 9 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | ⓡⓤⓕⓕⓨ | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | MarcDerBoi | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | ƮأϞ | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | traderjoe | 1398 | 0.15 | 37 min |
| #2 | Tasiloooo | 1247 | 0.22 | 31 min |
| #3 | ⓡⓤⓕⓕⓨ | 712 | 0.13 | 18 min |
| #4 | ƮأϞ | 414 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #5 | DreamLive | 386 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | traderjoe | +2.77 | 72 | 62 |
| #2 | DreamLive | +1.39 | 67 | 71 |
| #3 | Tasilooo | +1.29 | 61 | 70 |
| #4 | Tasiloooo | +0.99 | 67 | 71 |
| #5 | ƮأϞ | +0.88 | 58 | 75 |





