










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
718 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 825 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 50 | 6% |
| Smokes | 12 | 1% |
| HE Grenades | 502 | 61% |
| Molotovs | 261 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $173,555 of utility $48 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | < blank > | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | Squiddy | 50% | 16 |
| #3 | Meant2DoThat | 47% | 118 |
| #4 | KyZarKills | 45% | 142 |
| #5 | Colin | 43% | 176 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Colin | +4.48 | 50 | 53 |
| #2 | Squiddy | +3.40 | 75 | 58 |
| #3 | Meant2DoThat | +3.07 | 63 | 55 |
| #4 | < blank > | +2.00 | 69 | 30 |
| #5 | KyZarKills | -0.31 | 35 | 57 |





