








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1541 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 245 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 74 matches | ||
| Faceit | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 110 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7313 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,605 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2952 | 19% |
| Smokes | 5314 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 4219 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3120 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,167,289 of utility $231 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1626 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Dmac17 | 57% | 150 |
| #6 | Meant2DoThat | 57% | 86 |
| #7 | fartbong | 53% | 137 |
| #8 | KyZarKills | 51% | 55 |
| #9 | CatLicker91 | 47% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⭕Undeя | 9 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | Dmac17 | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Meant2DoThat | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | KyZarKills | 5 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | fartbong | 4 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fartbong | 617 | 0.21 | 17 min |
| #2 | Dmac17 | 475 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #3 | CatLicker91 | 120 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | vaLk | 117 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | dmac | 111 | 0.14 | 3 min |





