








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1653 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 72 matches | ||
| Premier | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 182 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3255 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,755 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1349 | 15% |
| Smokes | 2755 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2147 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2504 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,943,292 of utility $258 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 165 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Squiddy | 57% | 86 |
| #2 | Colin | 49% | 148 |
| #3 | < blank > | 48% | 92 |
| #4 | Maggie | 47% | 118 |
| #5 | Notho | 46% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Colin | 17 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | KyZarKills | 16 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Squiddy | 15 | 0.0094 |
| #4 | Maggie | 9 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | < blank > | 4 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Colin | 339 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #2 | KyZarKills | 245 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #3 | < blank > | 126 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Squiddy | 105 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Notho | 88 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Colin | +3.67 | 45 | 50 |
| #2 | Squiddy | +3.07 | 70 | 53 |
| #3 | Notho | +2.83 | 62 | 66 |
| #4 | Meant2DoThat | +1.48 | 63 | 48 |
| #5 | < blank > | +1.38 | 61 | 37 |





