








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 394 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
906 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,475 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 347 | 24% |
| Smokes | 248 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 556 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 324 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $383,182 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 71 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maggie | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | Colin | 53% | 15 |
| #3 | KyZarKills | 51% | 55 |
| #4 | Meant2DoThat | 48% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maggie | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | Colin | 53% | 15 |
| #3 | KyZarKills | 51% | 55 |
| #4 | Meant2DoThat | 48% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meant2DoThat | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | KyZarKills | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Colin | 2 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | Maggie | 1 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meant2DoThat | 103 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #2 | KyZarKills | 57 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | Colin | 40 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | Maggie | 1 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Colin | +2.30 | 46 | 58 |
| #2 | < blank > | +1.35 | 59 | 38 |
| #3 | Meant2DoThat | +0.95 | 63 | 47 |
| #4 | KyZarKills | -2.68 | 46 | 57 |
| #5 | Maggie | -5.09 | 30 | 15 |





