








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 432 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3168 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,623 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 772 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2277 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 1373 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1201 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,170,982 of utility $219 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 931 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | xhott | 43% | 42 |
| #7 | Vivian~Estrogen~Bunny | 40% | 15 |
| #8 | implied | 35% | 23 |
| #9 | movement player | 33% | 27 |
| #10 | Nowmell | 25% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | peace:// | 195 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | Nowmell | 117 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | xhott | 67 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | movement player | 36 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Zockermodus | 32 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xhott | +3.93 | 87 | 55 |
| #2 | <#6d32a8>Mach1nka | +3.08 | 71 | 53 |
| #3 | nel | +1.92 | 38 | 37 |
| #4 | owo.verdose | +0.31 | 33 | 44 |
| #5 | Zockermodus | +0.16 | 58 | 33 |





