








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 326 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 408 matches | ||
| Wingman | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 87 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




146 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4094 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,220 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4736 | 21% |
| Smokes | 5428 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 6400 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5656 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,587,009 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1971 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rambo-Maistelija | 58% | 78 |
| #2 | mikkiz | 54% | 304 |
| #3 | Eskon putiikki | 52% | 482 |
| #4 | Jaahas | 52% | 152 |
| #5 | ⫍ ⃢ ⫎ | 46% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Eskon putiikki | 52% | 482 |
| #4 | Jaahas | 52% | 152 |
| #5 | ⫍ ⃢ ⫎ | 46% | 76 |
| #6 | large man | 46% | 74 |
| #7 | PenA | 46% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eskon putiikki | 161 | 0.0165 |
| #2 | mikkiz | 68 | 0.0119 |
| #3 | Jaahas | 50 | 0.0161 |
| #4 | ⫍ ⃢ ⫎ | 27 | 0.0187 |
| #5 | large man | 19 | 0.0127 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eskon putiikki | 2523 | 0.26 | 59 min |
| #2 | mikkiz | 1237 | 0.22 | 29 min |
| #3 | ⫍ ⃢ ⫎ | 323 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #4 | large man | 187 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | Jaahas | 135 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mikkiz | +2.75 | 69 | 65 |
| #2 | Jaahas | +1.58 | 86 | 42 |
| #3 | Eskon putiikki | +1.56 | 83 | 69 |
| #4 | large man | +1.04 | 73 | 56 |
| #5 | ⫍ ⃢ ⫎ | +0.55 | 60 | 66 |





