








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 212 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 173 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




98 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2346 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,611 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3606 | 38% |
| Smokes | 2511 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2005 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1489 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $389,254 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2170 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PenA | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | Rambo-Maistelija | 54% | 83 |
| #3 | Pete | 53% | 36 |
| #4 | elemo | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | Eskon putiikki | 49% | 215 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Pete | 53% | 36 |
| #4 | elemo | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | Eskon putiikki | 49% | 215 |
| #6 | Honkkari | 46% | 76 |
| #7 | Jaahas | 44% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eskon putiikki | 137 | 0.0325 |
| #2 | Honkkari | 35 | 0.0242 |
| #3 | Jaahas | 17 | 0.0236 |
| #4 | Rambo-Maistelija | 10 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | PenA | 6 | 0.0233 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eskon putiikki | 1192 | 0.28 | 25 min |
| #2 | Honkkari | 158 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | Rambo-Maistelija | 124 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Pete | 51 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jaahas | 33 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PenA | +1.45 | 57 | 46 |
| #2 | Eskon putiikki | +1.00 | 83 | 64 |
| #3 | ⫍ ⃢ ⫎ | +0.96 | 64 | 64 |
| #4 | Jaahas | +0.69 | 89 | 31 |
| #5 | Honkkari | -1.39 | 69 | 60 |





