








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 553 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 467 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 40 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 99 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




156 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6769 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,984 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2054 | 14% |
| Smokes | 3864 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4824 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 4242 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,914,640 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2025 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✭Loxy✭ | 58% | 65 |
| #2 | Teuvo | 58% | 59 |
| #3 | mikkiz | 53% | 83 |
| #4 | Honkkari | 52% | 152 |
| #5 | Eskon putiikki | 51% | 372 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Eskon putiikki | 51% | 372 |
| #6 | aj | 51% | 71 |
| #7 | Rambo-Maistelija | 49% | 73 |
| #8 | large man | 44% | 36 |
| #9 | ⫍ ⃢ ⫎ | 44% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eskon putiikki | 100 | 0.0130 |
| #2 | Honkkari | 36 | 0.0115 |
| #3 | ⫍ ⃢ ⫎ | 13 | 0.0181 |
| #4 | mikkiz | 11 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | aj | 8 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eskon putiikki | 2013 | 0.26 | 49 min |
| #2 | mikkiz | 402 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| #3 | Honkkari | 302 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | aj | 222 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | ⫍ ⃢ ⫎ | 155 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aj | +2.05 | 74 | 63 |
| #2 | mikkiz | +1.41 | 64 | 70 |
| #3 | Jaahas | +1.31 | 87 | 44 |
| #4 | ✭Loxy✭ | +1.06 | 80 | 42 |
| #5 | Eskon putiikki | +0.90 | 81 | 68 |





