








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 102 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 161 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1830 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,207 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1697 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2373 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2952 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2185 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $756,472 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 166 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Honkkari | 58% | 78 |
| #2 | ⫍ ⃢ ⫎ | 54% | 83 |
| #3 | neitsyt jartsa | 52% | 31 |
| #4 | Jaahas | 49% | 73 |
| #5 | Eskon putiikki | 48% | 247 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Jaahas | 49% | 73 |
| #5 | Eskon putiikki | 48% | 247 |
| #6 | Pete | 47% | 19 |
| #7 | mikkiz | 47% | 95 |
| #8 | large man | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eskon putiikki | 87 | 0.0172 |
| #2 | ⫍ ⃢ ⫎ | 24 | 0.0145 |
| #3 | Honkkari | 24 | 0.0151 |
| #4 | mikkiz | 21 | 0.0110 |
| #5 | Jaahas | 14 | 0.0092 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eskon putiikki | 1244 | 0.25 | 29 min |
| #2 | mikkiz | 449 | 0.24 | 11 min |
| #3 | ⫍ ⃢ ⫎ | 375 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| #4 | Honkkari | 181 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Jaahas | 81 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⫍ ⃢ ⫎ | +2.23 | 68 | 70 |
| #2 | large man | +2.14 | 71 | 62 |
| #3 | Eskon putiikki | +1.99 | 83 | 67 |
| #4 | mikkiz | +1.49 | 62 | 67 |
| #5 | Jaahas | +1.22 | 86 | 42 |





