








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 376 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 169 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 66 matches | ||
| Wingman | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 24 different maps





Our logs show 113 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




76 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4440 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,312 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1700 | 12% |
| Smokes | 5072 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 5399 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 2141 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,735,725 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1200 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | TrennanL | 50% | 341 |
| #11 | J Peppa 💯🔥 | 49% | 41 |
| #12 | Wavier | 47% | 146 |
| #13 | Bortilli | 45% | 165 |
| #14 | Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. | 43% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goomba | 48 | 0.0128 |
| #2 | Japanese Fingerman | 38 | 0.0136 |
| #3 | TrennanL | 31 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | lemon | 27 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | Gwert | 24 | 0.0130 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Killer Fish | 1089 | 0.21 | 26 min |
| #2 | TrennanL | 733 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #3 | Jerry | 436 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #4 | lemon | 239 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | Bortilli | 225 | 0.07 | 5 min |





