








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 513 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 131 matches | ||
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




71 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4385 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,105 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3436 | 21% |
| Smokes | 5432 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 3097 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4140 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,026,391 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 420 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | first3numbers | 35 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | Goomba | 30 | 0.0130 |
| #3 | Gwert | 28 | 0.0139 |
| #4 | lemon | 25 | 0.0103 |
| #5 | Japanese Fingerman | 23 | 0.0107 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Killer Fish | 631 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #2 | TrennanL | 465 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | lemon | 185 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | Japanese Fingerman | 184 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | Gwert | 182 | 0.09 | 4 min |





