








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 338 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 107 matches | ||
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1864 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,454 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1607 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2679 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1712 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1456 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,423,862 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Japanese Fingerman | 59% | 54 |
| #2 | lemon | 50% | 101 |
| #3 | Killer Fish | 49% | 87 |
| #4 | Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. | 48% | 23 |
| #5 | The Bricc | 46% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Gwert | 43% | 44 |
| #9 | Wavier | 43% | 65 |
| #10 | Goomba | 41% | 63 |
| #11 | cringle dangle | 41% | 79 |
| #12 | TrennanL | 38% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lemon | 16 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | first3numbers | 15 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Jerry | 15 | 0.0101 |
| #4 | Goomba | 14 | 0.0110 |
| #5 | Japanese Fingerman | 12 | 0.0110 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Killer Fish | 333 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #2 | TrennanL | 223 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | first3numbers | 145 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | lemon | 138 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | Jerry | 120 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Japanese Fingerman | +8.48 | 81 | 65 |
| #2 | Gwert | +7.49 | 72 | 59 |
| #3 | lemon | +2.64 | 74 | 54 |
| #4 | Killer Fish | +2.60 | 69 | 59 |
| #5 | cringle dangle | +2.51 | 75 | 39 |





