








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 498 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 137 matches | ||
| Wingman | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3371 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,150 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1520 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2251 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2459 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1920 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $814,819 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 144 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Gwert | 53% | 17 |
| #10 | Wavier | 53% | 55 |
| #11 | first3numbers | 52% | 210 |
| #12 | TrennanL | 51% | 119 |
| #13 | Bortilli | 50% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | first3numbers | 27 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | Jerry | 24 | 0.0099 |
| #3 | Bortilli | 18 | 0.0088 |
| #4 | J Peppa 💯🔥 | 12 | 0.0323 |
| #5 | Killer Fish | 11 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Killer Fish | 297 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | TrennanL | 241 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Jerry | 183 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | first3numbers | 142 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | Bortilli | 114 | 0.06 | 3 min |





