








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 338 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 193 matches | ||
| Wingman | 119 matches | ||
| Premier | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 117 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




135 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6941 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,947 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2400 | 19% |
| Smokes | 4600 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 2376 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3571 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,198,168 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1666 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Crunch | 53% | 62 |
| #14 | The Bricc | 50% | 202 |
| #15 | Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. | 49% | 89 |
| #16 | TrennanL | 49% | 101 |
| #17 | Bortilli | 41% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Killer Fish | 790 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #2 | Japanese Fingerman | 324 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #3 | Wavier | 246 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | Jerry | 206 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | TrennanL | 202 | 0.10 | 4 min |





