








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 645 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 480 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




67 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4593 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,963 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3017 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2848 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3784 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3314 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,170,288 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 370 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knight | 56% | 63 |
| #2 | 𒉭 Полубог 𒉭 | 50% | 195 |
| #3 | psychopomp | 45% | 55 |
| #4 | Big Diesel | 40% | 57 |
| #5 | MaddHands | 40% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𒉭 Полубог 𒉭 | 48 | 0.0130 |
| #2 | MaddHands | 16 | 0.0110 |
| #3 | Big Diesel | 11 | 0.0091 |
| #4 | Knight | 6 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | psychopomp | 5 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toestiir | +2.49 | 71 | 59 |
| #2 | Knight | +2.34 | 66 | 47 |
| #3 | psychopomp | +1.98 | 68 | 45 |
| #4 | 𒉭 Полубог 𒉭 | +1.14 | 45 | 40 |
| #5 | MaddHands | +1.09 | 72 | 64 |





